24 Years Of Grace

 Somewhere in between having writers block and wanting to say something about age 24, okay so where do we start? First things first, I’m not going to talk about the birthday, because the day wasn’t eventful, with all these restrictions and curfews and alcohol bans, not that I’m saying I didn’t enjoy my day, I did enjoy my day. I went out on a date, a cute spot in town, the food was nice, conversations were great, I was beautiful. I actually talked to God about it, that I wanted to be celebrated and appreciated on my day, I didn’t want any birthday depression this year, and he listened, he delivered. Anyway, for my 24^th blog, I am going to talk about twenty four things I’m grateful for, makes me happy, just twenty four parts of my life that makes me whole.

 

MUSIC

Of course it had to be the first one, because without it, my life has no definition, absolutely. Ke gore I have a playlist for every moment in my life, when I’m sad, when I’m happy, gratitude and the likes.

1.        Jacob Banks, he gets to get a special shout out because I am currently obsessed with him, like foolishly obsessed with his work, ridiculously obsessed with his music. Like the guy can genuinely sing, someone said to me they don’t listen to Jacob Banks as much as they’d like to because his music is way too heartfelt, bathong what’s music if it doesn’t hit home!!! What’s music if it is not poetic!!! I think for me, as an avid reader, the kind of music I listen to should have the same impact I would have had from reading a book, and Jacob Banks gives me just that.

2.      Sun-El Musician, okay Sanele’s music is multifaceted, it’s the kind of tunes you can vibe to when you need some motivation, ha o le ko monateng, when you are  commuting, that is how perfect it is okay!!! People tend to think that I have a massive crush on Sanele, but no guys, I don’t, I just love his work and openly admire his handsomeness and wholesomeness, that is all, crush yame ke Mbappe okay!!!

3.       As much as I say I listen to music of all genres, I took an executive decision that I love slow jams hey, bo H.E.R jaana, bo Daniel Caesar, ko lapeng ba o bitsa bedroom music, apparently I’m fancy, apparently I’m woke, but what were you expecting from a girl who is deeply spiritual hey! Anyway slow jams, be it a vocalist like Khalid or an instrumentalist like Masego or Kevin Sargent, either way that is what you’ll catch me listening to.

 

LITERATURE

There is no how you can talk about Seanokeng Phuthego without saying anything about her unhealthy love for reading, I feel like there is no me outside of literature, tota it is my personality trait, I define myself by that, like “hi, I’m Sean, most of the time you’d find me reading”

4.       Chimamanda Adichie Ngozi, I mentioned her name in full because she prefers to be addressed like that. I had to pick her out of the masses because she is my favourite author, “yes judgement clouded”. This lady is smart okay!!! Like really smart, she inspires me in ways I never thought possible. One of my favourite books by her would have to Americanah, I feel like that book found my intellect at a ten and took it all the way to a hundred, that is how insightful and thought provoking the book was. A conversation starter, if you always feel like you freeze and don’t have anything to say to spark new conversations, I recommend Americanah, it will make you feel confident when leading a conversation, you’ll get out of it with your critical thinking and analytical skills honed. My other favourite book from her is Half of A Yellow Sun, oh my God this book touched me to the core, it baptised my entire existence. To me it is the best book of the 21^st century, beautifully written, with a prose that flow like the river of Nile, she outdid herself here, a 10/10 recommend.

5.       Sapiens, I feel like even if you are not a reader, this book should be on your to be read list, at least an audiobook if you hate reading that much. It talks about the history of humankind from the very beginning to where we are, I like to describe it as a history handbook, ke gore everything you’d want to know about history in only 500 pages, literally everything.

6.       African literature, this right here, should’ve been number one, because I’m obsessed. When I say African literature, I don’t mean texts by black authors; I mean texts by African authors about Africa in Africa. I feel like creative’s from the motherland are so talented, they always deliver, plus their stories carry volume and quality quality content, they don’t imitate, they create masterpieces, authors like Taiye Selasi, Bessie Head, Yaa Gyasi, Upile Chisala, only to name a few, they deliver man. AL shaped most of my thinking and how I manoeuvre conversations, there is not talking about 24 by being silent about it.

 

FRIENDSHIP

For someone who has always struggled to make friends, I’m so emotional just thinking about it, I’ve always been that kid who was up and down changing schools in the process failing to create solid relationships. The other thing was because I lived at a teachers quarters, you’d be thinking you’re grounded you made friends all of a sudden their parents are getting transferred, now you have to start all over again and make new friends, anyway here it is, on friendship;

7.       Abigail, the absolute love of my entire existence, Tomnie says she’s my rib (we’ll talk about Tomnie in a few), honestly there’s no me without her, she completes me, my soulmate that one, my universe folded in a shape of a human being. I’m so glad she came into my life at the time she did, it’s been seven years of serving love and vibes. I’m so thankful of her giving me access to herself...

8.  Tomnie, if you ever caught me saying something like I have nothing to write home about, slap me, because I could write an entire book and send it home and it’d actually win all the prizes, your Pulitzers and the likes. He understands me more than I understand myself, always willing to go an extra mile for me, a great listener, my greatest comforter, my soulmate, my person, le ene it’s been seven years of serving love and vibes...

9.     Tribe, here we’ll be pretending that I have all of my friends at a dinner table and I’m just there soaking in their love, this one is for my homeboys and homegirls, for always being there when I needed the vibes and the hype and reassurance, I might not have named them here but one day ke tile go popa and they are going to see. 24 wouldn’t be this promising had it not been for them, for constantly believing in me, to my friends I’m Mma Botswana or Dr Phuthego, with them they hold a beacon of my hope.

 

APPS

Yes apps, your social media apps, le tsone they contributed to the person I am today, so lower your eyebrows please, thank you

10   Instagram, I am so proud of the little community I built there on that app, I’ve never met some of those people but they’re my biggest cheerleaders, a sisterhood that supports me and showers me love and light through and through. If you are one of my followers from Insta, know that you’re appreciated and I think about you every day, the sisterhood is priceless man, the people I amazing...

   P11. Pinterest, okay what do I say about this one? Because I feel like I talked about it in depth in Hope and Sanity, so just go read it okay.

 

12. Conversations, I’m sure you’re thinking “what? What the hell is she talking about?”, with head tilted, eyebrows lifted. But yes I know what I said and it definitely has meaning, yes conversations, yes they had a huge impact on my 24 year old self, like I am the person I am because of monologues, dialogues, trilogues, whateverlogues, they’ve shaped my thinking, my outlook on life, my perspective. A huge volume of my intellect is a product of TedTalks, interviews, conversations with my best friend, le Loui. I feel like he should get a special shout out, because he is special, conversations with him are always insightful, I love his thinking, it’s different, plus he is knowledgeable, okay this is the last time he is featuring in my blog...

 

 

MENTORS

I don’t know if I should call them mentors or what, because they are people I look up to, who inspire me to be the best version of myself, people who show me every day that dreams are meant to come true, because I see them living their ancestors wildest dreams;

13.  Nomzamo Mbatha, I’ve been obsessed with this girl since forever, I just love her, I love her story, I love how far she has come, I love her work, I love what she preaches, she inspires me man, on a hundred, every time I go through her Insta page I’m reminded that I too am going to make it big in this life thing.

14   Thuso Mbedu, MaMbedu, Noma, my girl, I feel like me and her are best friends in the parallel universe, I love her so much, her charisma, her faith, her beautiful self, I’ve loved her since her first appearance on Scandal, one day we’ll be at the same table and I’m going to say to her  “you’re the one who relit that spark in me every time it was about to burn out”

15    My girls, because they are a lot of them and I can’t acknowledge them one by one, anyway this is a pipeline of women who are in the same space I want to be in, they have inspired me to follow suit with my dreams. Bogolo Kenewendo and Thapelo Moribame, my fellow economists, women in my profession, young women being bosses in what they do, in my mind we’re a trio of best friends. Tshepo Mogapaesi, she is the reason why I decided to do my MA, after seeing that article about her getting a PhD at 29, I was like “I wanna get my PhD by 29 too” and Catriona Gray, after hearing her story about how she got the Miss Universe crown, I got heavily influenced and pushed to go after my Miss Universe dream too.

 

16 The bold ones, the first ones to do it. I am firm believer in inclusion, representation and diversity, which is why I’m always cheering the loudest when someone like me steps up. When Mihlali bought her mum a car at 24, I was like “what???” so my dream to do one and two for my mother at a tender age isn’t wild after all. Each and every time I have anxiety about wearing bum shorts in public, I remind myself that Sasa Klaas walked so that we could fly. Seeing someone do it had a huge impact on who I am right now, often at times I was bold because I saw someone take the first step.

 

17  Dates, oh my God!!! Can I tell you guys how much I love dates! I love meeting people and me being my bubbly passionate self around people I’m only meeting for the first time or people I never thought I’d go out on dates with. Di date di monate guys, I pray that you get taken out one, even if you don’t like the person, just to do it for the experience, and the free food of course. I hope my husband and I, when I’m married (yes I said my husband, yes I said when I get married not if) anyway, I hope he’ll still be spoiling me at 70, picnics, drives, restaurants and everything.

 

18   Road trips, not road trips per se, just as long as I’m in a car and it’s moving and it’s going somewhere, my heart always take a pause ha ke le mo tseleng and the views are scenic and I’m on the passenger seat. I feel like somehow those moments have altered my outlook on life and have contributed to the person I am right now.

 

19   Mountains, maybe this judgement is biased, even if it is biased let it be so, my home village, ko Majwaneng and the whole of Tswapong is surrounded by hills, so I think that somehow it got rooted in my subconscious mind. Anyway I love mountains, and their scenic views and their breathtaking sights, I’m always telling people that I’d love to work in Lobatse, the why is those mountains kids, those mountains. That is why Cape Town is my dream city, and Italy, Switzerland, Turkey. I’ve already planned that I’m going to be a boy mum raising those three at a beautiful house in Camps Bay.

 

20   My family,  I am what I am because of those people, it really took a village to be the person I am at this age, I’ve never suffered an inch because of losika guys, I am so glad that my family is close knit, I have a relationship with people that I don’t even know how we’re related. In my next life I pray that I have a family as big as the one I have on this one, it might be daunting at times, but it’s a blessing 95% of the time.

 

21   Spirituality, I was going to say everyone who knows me knows that I’m a very spiritual person, but no guys, that’ll be a lie. Anyway I’m a very spiritual person, I ask for guidance from my ancestors, I say my daily prayers, I chant affirmations every minute of the day. I am where I am, having achieved what I achieved because of my faith, I’m so glad that I’ve had spiritual leaders who preached faith from minute one to the last, speaking things into existence really works.

 

22   My education, there is no Seanokeng without her degrees and academic achievements, honestly, I even use it as a personality trait, it gives my life meaning. I think it is the only area in my life where I’ve felt confident about, me being a BA degree holder and an MA candidate is validation enough in my life.

 

23   Here I’ll be talking about quotes that I live by, yes quotes, and yes they had a major role in my becoming current self, the first one being “whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right”, the second one being “in the midst of where you are going, don’t forget to enjoy where you are” the third and last one being “there is no courage without fear” from my favourite movie Mulan, no I don’t watch movies, no I don’t like movies. Everything that I did, the journey to major milestones, I did it trembling, mme hela courage guys and that self belief.

 

24   To wrap this up, my personality, I’ve been writing this for over a week now, it’s only right that I end this on a lighter note hey, yes my personality is lighter, I’m not arguing with anyone here. As much as I feel like my personality kind of makes me vulnerable to all kinds of disrespect, I’m so thankful for my calm aura, monotonous reaction to all situation, I am so thankful that I believe in second chances, and that I’m bold, passionate, resilient, I’m so thankful that I’m such a hopeless romantic who wears her heart on her sleeves.

 

PS; I don’t necessarily have to begin again, but September marks a new year for me. There are years that ask questions and there are years that answer. For me 23 going backwards was daunting (please don’t get me wrong, life is beautiful, and I continue to enjoy it), they were years filled with loads of questions, am I enough? do I belong here? why is it that I’m not getting the same love? why can’t I be like them? You get the point!! The kind of questions that were so heavy on me, at my tender age. Now here I am, praying that 24 and beyond taps its mic, raises its hand and finally give answers. Yes you are enough. yes you are deserving. Yes you belong there, that’s your seat. Yes you’re smart. Yes you’re beautiful. I hope 24 walks into a room and creates space for me, I hope 24 will be a year filled with miracles, I hope it’d make jaws drop and eyes pop, I hope 24 will be the year of yes. I hope life gets even more beautiful from here onwards.