YOU'RE YET TO BE LOVED

Our Father

I wish we all had the liberty to choose our own parents. I do not know what I would go for, but chances are high I would probably go for a single parent headed household, preferably a mother, not that a single father would make a bad choice. I am all for women being overachievers, pursuing their own dreams and all, but I would prefer a mother with a modest job, a hairdresser, a seamstress, a seller with her own small tuckshop. What is about to follow might reflect my selfish intentions, I realised that legends had mothers with modest jobs, Beyonce for example her mum was a salon owner, I want to be able to go to my mothers workplace after school, help out during holidays at the tuckshop, a three bedroomed house, a kitchen, sitting room, in the hood, something modest...I would choose a modest but fulfilling household, no conflicts, full of tradition, three siblings at most, I would choose humble beginnings, I would choose no struggle. If it were to be a father, I would want a dad who is a businessman in the neighborhood, driving his own buses, is an elder at church but does not impose religion on us, hugs me, affirms me, strolls me around the mall, proud to be my father. In my next life I would want to always look forward to going home and being a child at my parents' house even at forty. "this may or may not be a reflection of my childhood traumas"

Who Art In Heaven

My favorite quote of all time, well not of all time, but words that bear the most significant meaning in my life: "you have not yet met all the people who will love you", nothing truer than this honestly. Thirteen years ago I was fourteen and loved someone who didn't love me back and suffered at the demise of unrequited love, three years later I met a person who left me for someone else, six years down the line I was with a person who left me because of his insecurities and childhood traumas, eleven years down the line I gave someone who wouldn't give me attention and I was not compatible with and no connection a chance, thirteen years presently I am with someone who is very tender with me, cooks for me, I have an unhealthy relationship with food and he's very patient with me, he will feed me like a child even if it takes five hours to finish my food, he'd stand two hours in a kitchen preparing food for me and I would tell him I don't have appetite and he would go back to the kitchen to make me soft food for instead, soup, or mashed potatoes, pumpkins, overly cooked meat that falls off the bone. Thirteen years ago I would have never thought that I would be loved by a man who would cuddle me when I am on my periods, six years ago I would have never thought I would be loved by a man who would give me attention and call me and text me every passing day without any inch of complaint or out of duty, thirteen years ago I would have never thought I would be loved fully without any exceptions. My fourteen year old self had no idea she was going to newly and crisply loved. You're yet to be loved in a ways you never thought to be possible, hence the title. You will get your heaven. I am in my heaven.   

Hallowed Be Thy Name

Our names really are the first prophecies spoken over our lives, I am a firm believer in the phrase "ina lebe seromo". Each an everytime I meet someone and they tell me their names I snoopily investigate if they are living their prophecies'. I know my name means a bride, a wife, so I am patiently waiting to live in my purpose. I even know what I am going to name my three kids, that is how deeply rooted I am in the concept... 

Thy Kingdom Come

May God always meet us at our point of need, may we bask in his kingdom and may we never lack.

Thy Will Be Done On Earth As It Is In Heaven

“If You Left The Grave Behind You So Will I”. It is in the smallest of lesson, the vaguest of actions we source the greatest motivation. As it is in heaven may we learn to leave whatever does not serve us behind, as it was in the heavenly realm that Jesus left the grave behind. And may we never look back, no matter how tempted we are, may we learn to endure to reach our promised land.

Give Us This Day'

I once saw this other tweet, or is it a tiktok, at this point I do not know because I consume a lot of social media at an alarming rate, but the post mentioned that sometimes we worry about tomorrow or five days from now six years from now, but God tells us to focus on today. We are worried about what we are going to eat tomorrow, but God always reminds us that he will always meet us at our point of need. He only parted the red sea when the children of israel were at the shore, not when they left egypt, or they planned to leave egypt. What God tells us is to live in the present, if you have a meal served in front of you today then be grateful for that with a full heart. Tomorrow will sort itself out. Have faith and trust fully in God.

'Our Daily Bread

As I have mentioned earlier on that I have an unhealthy relationship with food, which is a result of my past traumas (self diagnosed). Growing up we had less or nothing, our meals were fractioned, or you tried to grab something to eat, you would get asked "leave some for others or what are others going to eat or don't eat all of it leave some for tomorrow". To living in a household where you had to earn to eat something decent, you cannot eat if you hadn't cleaned the house, or washed the dishes, food being treated like a reward instead of a basic need. Being told some of the food stuff in the house are off limits, you are not supposed to touch that because it is luxury or you're a peasant who cannot afford that. This manifested itself into an adult who can go three days without eating at all, even if I do eat I do eat small portions, I am talking about two or three bites and I'm full, an adult who is a picky eater. I noticed this the other time I visited my friend and it was well in the late afternoon and I had not eaten, she pestered me to go into the kitchen to make whatever I want, which I did, I prepared some food, but instead of eating I cleaned the house, she said "you would do anything under the sun except eating". That's when I realised that it was as a result that I have been in a household where I conditioned that food is a reward, you have to do something before you could be fed.

And Forgive Us Our Trespasses 

There was a time I complained on here that bagolo ko lapeng shamed me for greeting an elder kere "dumela mogolo". I was very defensive then, but now I have put my arsenal down feeling very humble asking to be forgiven. Because I have since found out that in our setswana culture or rather across the different bantu cultures we greet in plural because we acknowledge that a person does not walk alone, instead they walk with their ancestors lineage, those who came before, so "dumelang" we are greeting their elders also, "le tsogile jang" how are you and your elders. Also us from north of Dibete we address elders as plural, ka segarona ka Sepedi, ke bomma, botate, bokuku, borrangolo, addressing one person as multiples. I would also like to believe we are also acknowledging bagolo ba bone, their aunts, mothers, uncles and fathers because they're no longer in the earthly realm, but they walk with our elders always. I also believe children are addressed in singular because they still have their elders breathing and walking the earth. It is just an analysis, I cannot confirm if it is facts. Greeting in plural, addressing our parents in plural, it is a way of honoring their ancestors. Hence, here I am again, asking to be forgiven. 

As We Forgive Those Who Trespasses Against Us

May we also learn to forgive ourselves! The same grace we give to other people may we also give it to ourselves. Even if we did know better may we be lenient with ourselves. 

And Lead Us Not Into Temptation

And may we learn to converse with our God as he is our friend, if we are tempted to look back at our past situations, a place he took us out of, plead with him that you are only a mere human being with flesh and blood, his child, may he be lenient on you, that he does not turn you into a pillar of salt like Lot's wife, may he still, even in your temptation, shorten your journey to the promised land. 

May we embrace endings, but may we never go back 

And Deliver Us From Evil

Sometimes our evil is situations that do not serve us, ex partners, our jobs, our unhealthy habits, may God deliver us from whatever our evil is and direct us into our purpose filled lives, our God given purpose.

For Thy Is The Kingdom The Power And The Glory

May we know God in all of his names, may we experience God in all of his names. Jehovah Jireh, may we never lack. Emmanuel, may he always be with us. Yahweh. Elohim. 

Forever And Ever

May we dwell in the house of the Lord, forever and ever. His goodness and mercy, may they follow us for the rest of our lives.

Amen

 And his promises are Yes and Amen, a go nne jalo mo botshelong ba gago, may you live up to your name, may never look back from whatever God delivered you from, may you rest with the knowledge that he is a God who will do whatever he said he will, his promises are yes and amen.