Who Am I?
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| Sunsets in my homeland, Tswapong 🇧🇼💕 |
Hey Sunsets
Where do I even start? This edition is going to revolve around family. I wouldn't want to call it a family reunion, because the reason why we came together wasn't pleasant at all. We went home since there was a funeral, my mothers uncle. Who would have thought that a funeral would turn out to be a family reunion? Not that I'm complaining, but who would have thought? I have a feeling that I'm going to mention a lot of things in this post, but I'd try not. Be minimal as possible, get straight to the point.
I mentioned something about the funeral right, my mothers uncle. It wasn't sad, nor the atmosphere heavy or dramatic. That's what you get when you die after seventy, we're not going to weep, we're going to celebrate the extra years God gave to you. I mean how blessed could you be, God's favorite kind of people, anyway my uncle had four extra years.
So i met my family, great aunts and uncles. I'll forever be grateful for the moment, because it's the time where i got to discover myself and understand every attributes that i thought were weird. As the rule of thumb says, an apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
The first person who grab my interest is my aunt (rakgadi), I have never met her before. I just love the way she talks, not the sound of her voice or tone but, the way she radiates love & being carefree. Her attitude screams the words comfortable from the get go, & i instantly fall in love with her. A few minutes into the conversation i notice a can of alcohol right next to her chair, that's when everything made sense. Now we talk about how i never knew my martenal grandfather. She nods in agreement, "he died when you were still fresh from your mothers womb, & you look a lot like him". Great, now i have some features that resemble my grandfather, the person i never got to know, please tell me more.
"The black gums, he had them too", oh how i grew up being closeted because, everytime i had to smile i replaced the "l" with a "z", with my eyes. And when I got the courage to finally show my black gums i still had doubts if i should or not. The thing about insecurities is that you end up clouding the good features you have, I have perfect teeth. But i was in war with my black gums i forgot about my precious teeth.
I also got realise something about myself too, when we were reminiscing about our late uncle. About how much of a crier he was, he cried literally for everything, any chance he got he used it to cry. I do that, i cry when I'm happy, I let them roll. But it's something that i stopped doing for a while, my family was constantly mocking me for that. So I had to stop & put the big girl gear on.
We talk about a lot of things, my calves & randoms, my great grandparents, now I know who Phuthego was. And I got to understand why she still drinks and sit by herself, it's because life happened, came with full force, no mercy whatsoever. She's now my favorite person. Through her I got to understand a lot about myself, she doesn't realise the impact, but it's great. Indeed an apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
With me, I'd have to admit that patriarchy won, oh it did.
Off the record, Rakgadi and I made plans about me visiting her, she lives in Francistown. I'll definitely tell you about the visit when it happens.
I mentioned something about the funeral right, my mothers uncle. It wasn't sad, nor the atmosphere heavy or dramatic. That's what you get when you die after seventy, we're not going to weep, we're going to celebrate the extra years God gave to you. I mean how blessed could you be, God's favorite kind of people, anyway my uncle had four extra years.
So i met my family, great aunts and uncles. I'll forever be grateful for the moment, because it's the time where i got to discover myself and understand every attributes that i thought were weird. As the rule of thumb says, an apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
The first person who grab my interest is my aunt (rakgadi), I have never met her before. I just love the way she talks, not the sound of her voice or tone but, the way she radiates love & being carefree. Her attitude screams the words comfortable from the get go, & i instantly fall in love with her. A few minutes into the conversation i notice a can of alcohol right next to her chair, that's when everything made sense. Now we talk about how i never knew my martenal grandfather. She nods in agreement, "he died when you were still fresh from your mothers womb, & you look a lot like him". Great, now i have some features that resemble my grandfather, the person i never got to know, please tell me more.
"The black gums, he had them too", oh how i grew up being closeted because, everytime i had to smile i replaced the "l" with a "z", with my eyes. And when I got the courage to finally show my black gums i still had doubts if i should or not. The thing about insecurities is that you end up clouding the good features you have, I have perfect teeth. But i was in war with my black gums i forgot about my precious teeth.
I also got realise something about myself too, when we were reminiscing about our late uncle. About how much of a crier he was, he cried literally for everything, any chance he got he used it to cry. I do that, i cry when I'm happy, I let them roll. But it's something that i stopped doing for a while, my family was constantly mocking me for that. So I had to stop & put the big girl gear on.
We talk about a lot of things, my calves & randoms, my great grandparents, now I know who Phuthego was. And I got to understand why she still drinks and sit by herself, it's because life happened, came with full force, no mercy whatsoever. She's now my favorite person. Through her I got to understand a lot about myself, she doesn't realise the impact, but it's great. Indeed an apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
With me, I'd have to admit that patriarchy won, oh it did.
Off the record, Rakgadi and I made plans about me visiting her, she lives in Francistown. I'll definitely tell you about the visit when it happens.
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