Where Were We!!!

Hey Sunsets

Where do I even start, I'm certain that y'all are fed up with my procrastination, I am too. I don't like it when I postpone stuff, it gives me anxiety. Anyway, I've been drafting blogs, and backspacing a lot because I'm still insecure about my work. Is it good, can I write, am I chasing dead ends, should I go for something else. My notepad is filled with a couple of unfinished blogs, I'm a fast thinker, often at times I get an idea while I'm in the middle of writing another blog. Then I leave it halfway to start another blog, I know I'm a bad person, please don't crucify me.

So there's this blogger that I'm following, I love her work, her writing is so perfect I'm even jealous of her. I read her blog the other day, where she was technically updating her readers about what is currently going on in her life. What she is reading and the likes, it's a format she got from another blogger as well. Who I'm following on Instagram, and I like her, everything about her is amazing and carried with grace.
Anyway, here it goes;

Confession; I'm in love, and I've loosened up. I can now talk about stuff I used to be uncomfortable talking about. I complement my friends, which is something that I rarely do, they're surprised too. And I've grown closer to my cousin, I love him, he seems like a cool person, I'm saying "he seems" because he's a tough nut to crack, he's not an open book. I've always wanted to have an older sibling, please tell me this is God answering my prayers.
Where was I? Like I said, I'm in love, with somebody's son. We talk, about a lot of things, we also disagree about a lot of things. He wants to have kids and get married, but I'm hesitant. Why can't we just roll with the wind and see where it takes us, instead of talking about the future, because it's scary!

This past weekend; A lot happened, I was involved in a car accident. It wasn't major, but we had an exploded tyre and a damaged door. All of these were mine, it was my tyre and my door, because l was in the passenger seat. I didn't take any photos because I was still in trauma to be thinking about taking photos, let's just say that had it been a bigger car or a truck that hit us I would have been dead right now. I feel like I'm abusing the word because, I need to work on my vocab.
And I went drinking, apparently I drink a lot nowadays, I don't know why would people think that. But I've realised I don't even enjoy alcohol, I think I should see a therapist or do something along that line.
Also, one thing I've noticed is that high tea classy events are not for me, I don't know, maybe it's because I have no dining etiquette, but I don't enjoy them at all.

Currently loving; My boyfriend, cashew nuts, Rose and Abigail. My boyfriend! He's not perfect, but he's so perfect, is this what they mean when they say love is blind? Anyway I love him, I don't remember the last time I felt like this. And cashew nuts, the Beyoncé of all nuts, they're perfect and they fit well with almost everything, chicken stew and I snack with them when I'm drinking, they're top two not number two. Abigail too, I've never felt close to her like I am right now, she does my hair, buys me food, even gives me money, please tell me this is pure love. My friend Rose, she told me she loves me, that I make her happy and I didn't know what to say because I'm not used to affection. But we've bonded, we take naps together, share food and talk until the clock's hand hit down, she gets mad at me every time I have to leave. I think I'm happy.

Abigail doing my hair 💞

Terrified of; A lot of things actually, I have to graduate next year so I cannot afford to fail any course this semester. I'm afraid of everything, failing amongst all. What if I'm pursuing the wrong dream, the future is just so uncertain.

Encouraged; I've went back to church and I'm so happy, my mind is at peace. I've went off the trail for a couple of months, but it was not intense or that deep. I still went to Church, but I had doubts and felt like I can question God, I've missed a handful Sundays or so but I had other commitments. I attended the Thanksgiving Conference, my favorite time of the year, and I've decided that in Christ is where I belong. John 5: 8 is my memory verse, it brings comfort to my soul.

One last thing; Whatever you do, never give up on your dreams or yourself most importantly. Protect your peace, protect your light. It's okay to be vulnerable, but don't get lost. "Just wait until you own yourself a little bit more". Anyway my friends are refusing to read Americanah so we can discuss it and talk about it 😩. Lastly, fetch your life and forgive yourself for not being in alignment with your dreams, quoted from my current favorite song.

Thank you for agreeing to catch up, until next time ☀️☀️.

Ps;

1. Maatla's Blog
 tps://maatlasblog.blogspot.com/2019/09/ease-my-troublin-mind.html?m=1

2. Cam's Wind Downs
http://www.camwithlove.com/the-wind-down-1/