Dreams brought to me in a cup

So what is the usual acceptable first reaction when things don’t go your way? I’m trying to be as humanly as possible here, hence why your thoughts matter, save me from glory beloveds. Because I cry, I cry at the tiniest inconvenience possible, I cry when someone says  `no’ to me, I cry when walls come crashing down on my already fragile self, I cry when I’m hurt, some things are just painful, you’d think after 23 years of experiencing rejection you’d be used to it, life does not work like that honestly.

Okay now that I vented, moving on, to all those who met their people in their late twenties and thirties and forties, the point is later than you would have hoped for in life, how did you deal with letting go of people you thought you were set together for life??..o mo togetse jang Patrick a tsamaa when you thought he was the one the one, I don’t want your advice from yourself right now, I want your advice from yourself the moment you let go of someone you thought was your whole universe?? I know we haven’t yet met all the people we’ll love but nooo, can’t we meet them once at a go, because at this point in time I’m tired of redefining the love of my life. I think the painful truth of life is accepting that what you had was just that, and it will be the only thing you guys ever had, you might have connected, made beautiful memories, but nothing will ever happen beyond that, ke gore it ends there. And sometimes it will have to be not wanting the same things in life, priorities not aligning, even if you think of compromising, you’d see gore hey, I’m paving a road to disaster here, you could be perfect for each other, but it be like that sometimes, hence dreams brought to me in a cup, maybe the beholder did not fill your cup with all of your dreams, or some spilt along the way, and now you can’t settle for what it is not all you ordered....

Exam season is here, and honestly this period has always been somehow lonely to me, I remember when I was still an undergrad, this will be the time my friends will be packing their stuff and leaving, for home, people finishing exams before you, the campus being super quiet, lonely, all sorts. Right now I’m reminded of that and I feel like I’m back there. The most painful painful thing about the exam is when your bestfriend leaves days before you, I still remember dormitories being hollow, and sometimes you’d be the only one left behind, I still remember I used to wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast and study, with a messy room, unwashed plates, but out of all, the loneliness.  Yeah that is how I’m currently feeling, even though I stay home right now, everything still feels the same. Right now I’m trying to prepare for my exam which is on Monday; I just cannot wait to finish this degree honestly.

Right now I’d like to believe I’m in a good space, what I’m feeling is for today, temporary, even though I am broke, I’d like to believe I’m okay, money comes money goes...

Cc; And you’d play me all your favourite songs

And I would sing them wrong....      random, but lyrics from a song I’m currently listening to.

Hopefully the next time we talk I’ll be in a much better space, carry with you love and light as we part...