From Afar

I do not do queues

I am a firm believer that everyone has a birthright grace, my best friend for example has a grace of employment, no matter what happens she will always get a job, and she is excelling in her career, she is only twenty four but she holds a managerial position. Maatla once mentioned in her blog/twitter that she is blessed in the department of romantic relationships, from where I am standing she was born to be loved, and she is definitely the epitome of what being loved looks like, that is her birthright grace. There is this other girl, she is friends with my friends, and they love her so much, ke gore she does not even has to try to get their attention, you know that situation where by you fully show up for people, maybe your friend has a family wedding, and you show up a week before to help with the preparations, do this do that, be there for them, and there is that friend who arrives the day before or on the day of the ceremony, and everyone is genuinely happy that that friend has arrived, they do not have to do anything, and you're there like but "I've been here for a week?". Yes, she has that kind of grace, everyone just loves her, they worship her, le wena ga o ka mmona o ta bona gore batho ga ba itire, because it's her birthright grace. And when it comes to me, my birthright grace is that I always receive the utmost highest favor from officials, an establishment could be known for their worst customer service under the sun, but nna ga ke tsena kwa I get a five star service, ke gore quick in and out, government offices for example are known for giving the worst system e down slow service ever, but nna ga ke ile teng I never ever spend more than thirty minutes to get what I want. UB admin staff are known to be rude, but I think they're the nicest people under the sun, I could see gore motho yo mme ga ba mo akele, but nna that person will be a sweet child to me. I still remember when I was crossing the border last year, border officials kept on asking people gore when are you coming back so they know the number of days to give them, when it came to me I wasn't asked anything, and I assumed they gave me the same number of days as my friend because we were together, only to find out I have been given an entire three months stay!!!

So now you understand why I don't do queues?

I have been procrastinating on doing my schoolwork, ke lapile hela waitse, I don't have the energy, I think I have what they call finish line fatigue, like I am almost done but I do not have the motivation to bring myself to push. Also, the aim is to apply to Harvard this year, mme hela I haven't started doing my writing sample, I do not even have the slightest idea on what I am going to write about, I also wonder whether my research supervisor is going to agree to write me a reference because I stay stressing that guy hey, mme hela let me hope for the best. The other thing that I keep thinking about ke gore will Harvard be as wonderful and dreamy when I get there as it is "from afar"? What triggered this thinking is that, I stay in Tlokweng, and everyday when I'm commuting to Gabz I always see the Kgale Hill, and it always looks so magical, breathtaking, giving me Table Mountain vibes, you get what I'm talking about! But when I get closer, I am always so disappointed, ga ke le ha GameCity, ke nna ke feela cheated because this can't be the same hill I was seeing twelve kilometers afar. So I am wondering if Harvard is as great as it is as it is in my head? Kana ya go nna UB round three? Update/edit: Kgale hill is magical even when you're closer, ke iponetse maabane when I was approaching GameCity ke le mo Western Bypass from  direction ya Block6.  I don't know, maybe this is affirmation that Harvard will be as beautiful when I get there.

Also guys, Zozibini o logile, now what am I supposed to do with my life? Anyway, I love being included in family events, go mpha that sense of belonging, gore I am loved and valued. And my uncle made me the RSVP contact on his wedding invite, I was so emotional when I saw the card, because I did not even ask for it, like you thought of me hela on your own? I also miss going out, like modumo, batho, dijo, bojalwa, vibes, you know, I watched this and it made me sad, because when was the last time I went out and had fun? 

Drinking & being merry, being included, being loved 

I watched Sex Life, and I think it is safe to say I enjoyed it, also you can tell it was written by a woman. I loved the ending, everyone got what they wanted and deserved, but I think Dr Kam was selfish honestly for wanting Sasha to move to Singapore with him, ne go se necessary for him to move honestly, I am kind of glad that he decided to stay, but it was not much of a sacrifice really, he did not lose anything in the process, so the "one has to give first" line was trashy coming from him, he is selfish. But I am happy my girl Sasha got it all, the career, the love life, everything, happy for her. I am also glad that Billie ended up with the love of her life "although controversial" mme hela a a win is a win. In the spirit of talking about di series, ke kgonne go hetsa series ya ga Loui, Outlander, le yone hela jalo you can tell it was written by a woman honestly, because no way Claire and Jamie's relationship was that perfect (I don't know maybe go bua trauma because growing up I never really experienced or saw what love is). Overall I'd give Outlander a 7/10. Talking about love and my traumas, I am dating, it has been nine months now, and because I never really envisioned myself in a serious long term relationship everyday ke nna ke ke le surprised hela waitse, this guy stay shocking me, don't get me wrong, he is a good guy; but I never really knew what I wanted in a relationship or the type of guy I want (just that he has to be smart, the rest is just blurry), also I've been in relationships tse e leng gore they were on the edge, and if you brought up an issue you thought needed to be addressed the entire relationship would go over the cliff. And now you can imagine the shock when someone approach issues with solution driven mindset instead of being in a defense mode, I am used to leaving/being left at the first sight of trouble, jaanong o raa jang o re I complained about something to baby and he acts on it? God, are you sure you got the right address? Am I deserving?

I still hate a lot of things actually, above all things I hate whatsapp groups because they create a sense of entitlement over your time, personal space and everything you're not obliged to give to other people. I also hate the lack of choice we have in Botswana when it comes to geographical locations of workplaces and universities. Unlike in South Africa where you have a buffet of choices, you can decide to study in UCT, Wits, Stellenbosch, Pretoria and and...then get decided to work in Cape Town or Johannesburg or Pretoria and and...and have the luxury to say I grew up in Rustenberg, studied in Cape Town and now I work in Joburg. Mo Botswana, you only have one choice, study in Gaborone and work in Gaborone, everything else is a downgrade honestly. Of course go nale di mining town Jwaneng and Orapa; Maun le Francistown but we all know it does not even come close to Gabz, the culture the lifestyle, ambience, aesthetics and and anything comparable, gongwe go dirwa ke gore re two million. I also hate the fact that I never feel included by my friends, like why am I seeing you having fun on your statuses? Why was I not invited? And there is no good enough reason honestly, because I am a good friend to all of my friends. I have decided that from now onwards I will just be living my life, I do not even match energies or reciprocate, if you make me chase after you and pursue you I am simply going to cut you off, there is this other quote that I love so much (you haven't yet met all the people you will love). It affirms my choices because most of the time e nna e le "you're too old to be making new friends, wena le motho yoo le tswa kgakala you can't just cut them off now...and all the other petty reasoning".

I am also an optimist, I love  road trip content, I also enjoy homey home channel inspired content, shows like Top Billing and House Hunters International gives me life honestly, I am devastated that they have been discontinued. Also drinking alcohol on an empty stomach >>>> top tier, straight to the point. And that is pretty much it.

Always remember, when all is said and done, life gets more beautiful and dreams have this beautiful tendency of coming true, or even better, getting a better more beautiful trade. Love and Light

x.