Here & There

Hey, i'm supposed to be studying, but I'm here, writing, a blog.
Anyway I was reading my blog posts today, all of them, and I stumbled upon "Where Were We". And I thought to myself "man I used to be happy", under my breath. I was genuinely happy, I can't believe I even used words like "I'm in love". Me! Publicly admit that I'm a gone girl! I can't believe it either. Anyway it happened, I'm so glad that I experienced that brief moment in my life. Of course everything was falling apart but I was intact. I genuinely enjoyed everything I did & life, I looked forward to the next day. What I'm trying to say is, there was a point in my life where I was genuinely happy. I wish it upon everyone of you to experience that, it's nice there in the field of requited love, the only hill I'm willing to die on.

Like I said, today I'm on Seanokeng Blog marathon, and I read "It's Complicated ", and I relate to everything. I usually cringe when I read that piece of work because it reminds me of the saddest period of my life, but today is just different. This time last year I was in the middle of my Industrial Placement, and everyday was a countdown to me finishing that practice. It's not like I didn't like my workplace, I was okay, my bosses were actually cool people, we (interns) had flexible working hours. It was just that I was home, and that didn't sit well with me, it would have been better if it was in Gaborone. Anyway, it happened, what am I trying to say? I'm losing context here, all I'm saying is this time last year I wasn't at my happiest either.

So I'm deemed to finish school in a few weeks time, and I don't know man, in all honesty. It's so funny how we were told in our first year by graduates about what we should do, I feel like they were projecting what they should've done on us, we were labrats someway somehow, that's beside the point. We were told to manage our finances well, save save save & save, have a good GPA, start applying for jobs in your last semester, work during holidays. I have none of that, savings account, a good GPA to say the least and I haven't applied for any job, I am such a beautiful joke, and I am unbothered. *Inserts laughing emojis* I truly failed the status core.

Okay right now I feel like I'm losing the plot, infact I already lost it, what kind of entanglement is this? Let me take it from the top;

"As a rule of thumb goes, experience is the best teacher, life has no manual, our lives are crafted way differently from those next to us. We (human beings) sometimes find ourselves in denial, calling it denial sounds cliche and comes off as an insult. We try to avoid mistakes our forefathers made, hoping to achieve a fulfilling life, doing everything differently, being more conscious, gaining knowledge, crafting your gift. Even it is not the same hole, we find ourselves facing challenges, in essence being more cautious doesn't necessarily take hardships of life out of the equation. There are infinite problems we face as young adults, but this blog post will narrow everything down and discuss issues of..."

Okay jokes aside, this is getting longer than expected. All I'm saying is, life should come with a manual. One of the greatest lesson I've learnt was from a quote, "In the midst of where you're going, don't forget to enjoy where you are." I hope you learn something from that too. And no I'm not worried about my zero balance savings account or my low GPA or my empty skeletal CV. I'm okay, i'm just lonely & need someone to talk to, I feel like I'm overwhelming my bestfriend, the last thing I would want is to be that friend who's always going through something. For someone who's an introvert like me, I never thought I'd be a victim of loneliness, 2020, please continue to shock me.

Sea. x