Thursdays Out Of Love

Sometimes I just wish I had a desire to live a simple life, nothing hectic, I mean I wished I hoped to be a mother by 25, be married, I know umjolo is not simple because umqgowo is hectic. But you do get my point, I wish to see myself watering roses at 65 and attending PTA meetings for my grandkids and baking bread. How do you get to a fulfilling life without first drafting a thesis and surviving on 5hrs of sleep??? Anyway, one day I’ll wake up a Nobel Laurette, UN Secretary General with a Harvard Degree hanging up on my wall.

Each and every time I invite my friends over to a house I have been temporarily crashing at or just hang out with them anywhere, I always get thank you texts “thank you for today, you don’t know how lonely I’ve been” “...you saved me from myself” “...I’ve been depressed”... if any of you is going to come here with “depression is not something you choose to feel, it’s not an emotion, you can feel sad but not depressed...”  talk, please stay away from me. My friends are going through a lot, and I just thank God that I’ve been their safe haven, I am doing enough for them honestly, and it warms my heart to hear from them that I am their breath of fresh air. 

(I think one thing my friends should also know is that, they save me from myself too, they give me joy and fuel me with hope 💓🌹) 

The other thing is that I am growing a beard, a full grown beard, which is not funny or cool, my ex once mentioned it, but he said it in a mocking way which somehow got to me and crippled my self esteem. Beard, as I was saying, I guess this is the price I have to pay for having a smooth skin, and this is the point in my life where I develop insecurities and won’t let any guy in my life, socially isolate myself, later on when I’m 35 I’d gather myself and boss up and be on that love yourself as you are, your flaws make you you. Guys I am not about to be about that life okay, how much is laser hair removal??? I guess I’m going to use my GREs money on that procedure, a PhD can wait. Or maybe birth control pills would work, since this is a product of hormonal imbalance, anyway can you ask your Doctor cousins for me, a Miss Universe can’t be with beards guys, no..no..no

Let’s talk about my academic life bethuna, please when you see this please send a manuscript on how to make friends, I do have friends yes, but I need friends I can do homework with, someone I can copy notes from, save a seat for me in class, sbwl a study partner guys, God from my heart to your ears, nothing shall be too big for you. This thing of always having to depend on myself for everything is exhausting and I’m over it. Also please tell your rich dads and bosses that I need funding for my education, a smol smol 50k hela just to help your girl get her MA and be educated.

I need a lot of stuff, undies being top two not number two, don’t even laugh at me, please. I’ve noticed how I don’t even have time for myself these days, weekdays I’m at work (p.s, I don’t have a job, please when you see something tell them to hire me, Amen), evenings I’m in class, after that I’m tired and have to sleep, Saturdays I’m at the school library trying to catch up on my schoolwork, Sundays I’m the maid in this house, tell me how I’m even surviving this, because I’m not. In all honesty I miss UB, I miss being a student there and living on campus and just living life. Also, lately I've been having this strong FOMO, of being a young professional in the corporate world, looking cute and going to work, having my own place, a cute portable homey apartment with the sweetest housemate, and having my own car, a smol smol red VW Golf with a sunroof. You know, I sbwl that young professional corporate girl life guys, where everything is just flowing easy, I don't have loans yet, I go out with my girls every month, for mimosas, and I'm always neat and up to date with fitting jeans  and hairstyle and nails, I sbwl that life guys. And I go in for monthly dental checkups, Sundays are for self care. 

In closing, I’ve been reading a Charles Dickens novel which I’m struggling to finish because the English is hard and the font is ridiculously small, and I feel like everyone of us should listen to Sun El Musician latest album, if not then what are you doing with your life. And I’ve been watching Suits ya bo Harvey Specter with someone who has the potential to be the love of my life and Gilmore Girls. Honestly anything that has anything to do with Ivy Leagues or the Russell Group Universities deserves my attention. I’ve been watching Gilmore Girls by myself by the way and I’m loving it.

And if you ask me, I am content with my life right now, I made friends from Instagram, and I love them, but I haven’t met them, what I can tell you is that they’re good people and smart too, sweet, loving & genuine, Susan and Tetelo if you see this, don’t tell people about this, just keep it to yourselves akere bo baby!!! Amen. Instagram, there's no way I can log out of that app without having to go through Tumie Nthutang's profile, nna tota ke rata Tumie guys, her life is so beautiful (especially her girlfriends part, going out for mimosas every now and then, I am such a sucker for girl friendship squad, it is so beautiful to watch), gape she is the nicest sweetest person ever, ha le bone nako le followe Tumie and be happy in life 

NB; -This is the last time my ex features on my blog

-I've used the word please a thousand times, so please heard to my cries beloveds 

-Fun fact, I've never had a mimosa 😂

-I named this Thursdays Out Of Love because when I was still in Varsity, Thursdays were my self care days, I'd go to Exclusive Books, get a book if I had money to spare, then Woolworths for bread, then Spar for fresh fruits, I loved my life then, it was so beautiful and soothing. And this blog is filled with all of that, it reminds me of my beautiful life then. 

Love & Light 🥂